New Life Foundation | Life is Beautiful But Not Easy
by Karin Hallberg
Anarchy can be creative, but also exhausting. For Jennifer, the state of defoliation she was in fabricated her fond to many different kinds of drugs and distractions. Doing everything she could to run away from herself, her inner beloved gradually faded. Jennifer'south journeying at New Life has been one of reconnecting with her inner strength and acceptance, something that has been facilitated with the support from her loving and listening friends: the cows Flower, Bella and Rosa.
Can y'all tell us a little scrap about yourself, where you come up from and what brings yous here?
My name is Jennifer, I come from Berlin and I am 33 years one-time. I came here because I felt that the "wild 33" is almost over and I wanted to change my life in many aspects. In Berlin I work every bit a tailor for wardrobes in movies and theatres. I dear what I do and I feel then lucky to have chosen something that I really accept passion for. But somehow I lost the passion on the way. I realized that I have been living in the past for the last years. I struggled with my childhood, I think that all my life I have been mad at my mother. She is a good mother, she does the all-time she tin and I think she really loves me. My family tries to exist there when I am in problem, merely they don't accept solutions for everything. When I was 15 I had to move out from home. I moved from my female parent to my father, merely and so he moved out from in that location when I was 17. I had a completely furnished flat and they supported me with coin, only I think they missed instruction me how to live. I became a really chaotic adult, I am a artist so information technology is a artistic chaos I live in, but it is not always easy to follow my plans, I oftentimes get lost in the chaos. When I was younger I imagined that past 28 I would accept my ain family; a child and a human and everything, that it was gonna be like in a soap! But it is not like that, life is beautiful but it is not piece of cake, every solar day is a challenge. I have experiments with several drugs and I have smoked a lot of pot in my life, probably more than enough for three lives! For ii years I take felt that I don't want it and I don't need it anymore, in that location is no infinite in my life for being stoned all the time.
Did y'all use the drugs to calm down your creative anarchy?
I used it in guild to [exist able to] stand myself, which is office of what I came here to learn. I haven't been in a relationship for the terminal iv years; it hasn't been possible considering I lived so much in the by. This is also something that I miss, but I know that I have to fully dearest myself first. Yesterday Brian [a New Life resident] said, "You lot tin can have a relationship when the cup is more than half full, not one-half empty, because then you lot are only looking for someone who can fill it upwardly", and that is so true! I besides have addiction problems, start it was pot which I don't need anymore, simply I have replaced it with watching TV, eating chocolate; several things, you can replace it with anything! I would beloved to find out what this emptiness is, finish replacing information technology and explore what is there within of me. I want to enjoy life, to manage and be responsible for myself. New Life is really the best place ever to be with yourself, to put down the walls and realize that you are not lonely with you lot fears and your weaknesses and troubles because in that location are then many nice, openhearted, incredible, unique people hither! I really honey them because they are who they are, everybody is struggling and fighting with something and nosotros are not solitary, and it is proficient and brave and okay to exist vulnerable. This is something I forget when I am at dwelling hiding in my snail-house.
What take been the major challenges for you here?
Berlin is a large city, it is very fast and can be very rough and anonymous. You are surrounded by people who you might never see again and you lot can be ugly without facing the consequences, and people can be ugly to you. And here information technology is like a piddling microcosmos, a little village, there are people who I really like and people who trigger me, and it is a challenge to handle that in a mindful way. It is as well important to accept a conscious look backside, why are they like this and what is information technology that triggers me? It makes me understand a lot about myself and information technology makes me generous with other people, considering everybody has to carry and stand themselves, and what triggers me about a person probably triggers themselves even more!
You connected with Blossom [our cow] from twenty-four hours one! How was that?
Yep, I love them all; Bloom, Bella and Rosa! They are large animals and they can be rough, but I love animals and they are like big dogs. If yous are not afraid and you lot are nice to them, they will be nice to you. That first day when I came I brushed Blossom and she rubbed her head on my leg and on my shoulder and I almost brutal because she was and then rough, but information technology was a sign of beloved! When I saw the cows it was articulate: this is the work I desire to practice! They are very good at listening, they can continue secrets. It is peculiarly nice to practise the milking in the morning. I am not very much for this meditation and yoga matter, considering I am not a morning person, and so I can't really enjoy being around other people in the morning. Just it is very dainty to have an animal who needs me, who I am responsible for. Working with animals and in nature gives me a lot, it is similar meditation for me. I also similar the ducks, they are a little bit stinky but very funny. One follows the other and the beginning one has no thought where to become! And I can be the Easter-bunny every morning, collecting the eggs. I put some music on and dance and sing while I clean, information technology is very nice!
You told me that you are planning to come up back to New Life in the fall, what is information technology that brings you dorsum?
I don't retrieve I will never stop growing when I am here! I accept learnt a lot and I will try out how it is when I come back to reality, how information technology volition change my life. Simply I am sure in that location is more than to work on! This is a paradise place and it is amazing how much they have congenital upward in such a brusque fourth dimension. Information technology is such a beautiful thought to create a place for people who are lost, where they tin grow and change and heal. I am so thankful and and then proud to be office of this, and I would dearest to come back and show how I have changed, to give as much back as possible!
humphreythourbsixot48.blogspot.com
Source: https://www.newlifefoundation.com/th/life-beautiful-easy/